to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
