What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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