New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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