Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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