I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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