that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
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She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
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You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My feet surprised me
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