you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
