Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
