Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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