Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
