i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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