my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.