Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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