would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize