Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.