Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here