Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."