Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I showed him my bush... on skype.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK