Don't you send me to vm
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
