these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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