I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
