is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
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He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
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I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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