It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
