I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
