i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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