That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Are we still banned from the library?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I want a musical about memes.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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