i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
