I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
How external is "for external use only"?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
