its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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