You're so nebulous sometimes
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
