hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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