i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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