i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
