I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She just used a chaser for red wine.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
