Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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