is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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