That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
