this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you didnt know i had herpes?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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