Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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