..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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