Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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