Welp...herpes.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
