no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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