The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
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You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
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As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
And then my night got REAL pukey
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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