The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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