Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
