I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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