we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize