He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
