i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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