i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize