And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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