the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
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Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
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They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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