Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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