I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
