How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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