We need to rekindle our bromance
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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