Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
