How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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