You made me cry and you don't even care
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I want her autograph on my taint
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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