Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
